To THAT Eating Disorder,
Note, that I did not start this letter to you with "Dear." There is nothing "dear" about you.You see, you have made a fatal mistake, a flaw in your evil, one-sided thinking. You have declared war on a Force, a Power much greater than you ever have been or will ever hope to be.
You entered our life in 2009 oh so quietly. And you began to sink your blood stained claws into my daughter. You were at first so subtle. We did not know at the time that everything you said was a lie, that you are incapable of telling the truth. Gradually, bit by bit, you pulled Morgan away from the living in the most insidious way while causing the most damage you possibly could to everyone who knew and loved her.
And finally, on the night of October 30, 2016, you quietly accomplished your sole purpose, the only reason you have for existing. You took the life of my daughter, Morgan. Through the anguished cries of her mother and the tears that streaked my face that night, I heard your subtle laughter. I felt your bitter sting. You thought you had won. And I also knew that you would come back to gloat over your self-perceived victory.
Five days after you took Morgan's life, I felt you trying to enter the Chapel. You thought you were going to attend a "funeral." You thought you were going to see overwhelming pain and agony. You were hoping you would see other victims falling as a result of your vile, despicable acts. And as the many people filed into the Chapel, as they passed that beautiful picture of Morgan, you tried to enter. And you could not! I sensed that look of surprise you surely had on your face as an invisible, immovable force kept you out. And you heard. You heard songs to lift up our hearts. You heard us moved to tears yes... but to laughter as well. You heard us tell stories of joy and love about Morgan. And you felt something you don't ordinarily sense... you felt an unshakeable bond amongst everyone in attendance that day. Yes, we mourned the loss of Morgan but we also laughed and told stories of her incredible soul. And when we began to tell stories of, and when you heard other young people there that day talk about how Morgan had saved them from your clutches... I felt it to my very core. And you did as well. You felt confusion. You felt doubt.
That doubt grew even stronger around Christmas didn't it? You thought we would focus on the reality that Christmas fell 8 weeks to the day that you took Morgan and we would lose ourselves in despondency and despair. I sensed your presence as you stood outside the windows of my home. (Oh, how it must hurt you that you cannot come into my home now. That that door is shut to you.) And, you heard music. And you saw laughter. And you saw a candle lit, a prayer said and you felt... not the agonizing of a soul you so yearned for, but you felt hope and faith and love. And you were confused. You quickly fled to other homes housing people who knew and loved Morgan the most. You KNEW you would find the agony you so sought there! But instead, you saw faith and hope and love. Yes, you felt pain. But, you felt something different about that pain. Instead of the pain that you caused being kept bottled up and consuming us ... you saw it being stared at in the face, acknowledged and slowly being released a bit at a time. Like a melting glacier, that pain leaves us drip by drip. Those drips turn into a trickle, which turns into a steady flow, which eventually turns into a torrent leaving us coming out clean and reborn. You saw candles lit for Morgan in Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Utah, New York, Florida, Indiana, California and Australia. And now, the confusion you felt, the doubt you felt.. I KNOW is gone. It has been replaced. Now, it has been replaced with ... fear.
You have never understood that the only thing you can take is a physical life. You cannot take our souls. You cannot take our hearts. You cannot take that intangible essence that gives us strength and makes us who we are. And now, you have made a fatal mistake. You have encountered a deadly enemy, the greatest force you have ever run across and ever will run across. Alone, I was a force to be reckoned with. But now, I have Morgan's soul within me. She is orchestrating matters completely out of your control. You didn't count on any repercussions as you tried to hurt me and Morgan's mom did you? That was another miscalculation on your part. I described Morgan as having "the heart of a lioness and the soul of a warrior." Do you doubt that now? That Lioness is surely hunting you on a spiritual level. And when she takes you down, it won't be sudden and over quickly. She will make you suffer. You tried to hurt her daddy. You tried to destroy her twin. She will never forgive you. And she is coming for you. Just as surely as I am.
You can only exist in the shadows. You can only exist in the dark. You use shame and remorse as your allies to grow your insidious strength. But, we know how to defeat you. We know how to destroy you. We will bring your ugliness into the clear light of day and we will expose you for who and what you are... a cowardly fraud. We will keep dragging you into the open so others will know of you and will spurn you. With each passing day, with each passing week and month and year, we will keep exposing you. One by one, your victims will become fewer. Soon, we will never be able to say again, "Someone dies as a direct result of an eating disorder every 62 minutes."
We have allies in the medical, counseling and educational fields who are supplying us with new ammunition every day. We have Project HEAL, the incredible two women who started it, we have NEDA, we have the Elissa Project, we have warriors throughout the world.. and now, we have a unifying force. You have no place to hide. Morgan is waiting for you in the spiritual world. The warriors here are facing you down and fighting you.
You have surely awakened a sleeping giant and filled us with a terrible resolve. You never counted on that bond, that incredible love between a daddy and his daughter, as the force that will destroy you.
You have done your worst. It is our turn now.
